Yesterday ended on a very confused note. Sometimes I feel my husband has changed while other times it seems somethings are still embedded inside his head. One of them is that a woman always loves and cares for her husband and no one else. May be I can never explain to him how much it hurts me everytime he hints on this. My heart breaks knowing he doesnt even want to realise my stand. Last night it happened too.
Somehow he always wants an assurance from me that I would love his parents like him which is not possible coz his parents doesnt consider me their own. I am their daughter in law so they are my in laws too. He hurts me often for loving me truthfully and madly. Loving him has become a curse for me. If everything would ever fall in place, it might be at my death bed, or maybe that wont effect too. After all no one can understand me. My husband doubts my intentions. The thought kills me within but then I cant show him. I cant love him. I need to love his family to love him even as much as they despise me.
He doesnt even understand that. He doesnt understand me. He would never do. I sometimes regret loving him, marring him and doing for him. I have lost my life, my desires and him. I am living a slow death inside me, that is killing me everyday. Only if it could kill me quickly.
Somehow he always wants an assurance from me that I would love his parents like him which is not possible coz his parents doesnt consider me their own. I am their daughter in law so they are my in laws too. He hurts me often for loving me truthfully and madly. Loving him has become a curse for me. If everything would ever fall in place, it might be at my death bed, or maybe that wont effect too. After all no one can understand me. My husband doubts my intentions. The thought kills me within but then I cant show him. I cant love him. I need to love his family to love him even as much as they despise me.
He doesnt even understand that. He doesnt understand me. He would never do. I sometimes regret loving him, marring him and doing for him. I have lost my life, my desires and him. I am living a slow death inside me, that is killing me everyday. Only if it could kill me quickly.
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